Alright, probably no one will read this, but that is probably for the best. It is good that I am anonymous, because I need to vent and be completely thorough about it.
The pilgrims are perennial role models for us all. They had the courage of their convictions. Literally, gave their lives for what they believed in. They were not slaves to fashion. They ate what was put before them, even when that was just a handful of parched grain. Stuck together in the storms of life. Humbly received instruction from those whom they feared because of prejudice and through that process found friendship. Then they gave the credit to the Creator they believed in. Plymouth Colony was pretty successful. Some of the leaders died of old age complaints…not starvation or disease.
I am no pilgrim.
I feel like the turkey.
The wheels are coming off our holiday season. I am struggling to remain faithful in present difficulties and believe that the future is secure. I need to hold it together for the kids. I need to set an example.
I need to be off the clock for awhile.
To sum up:
–The “firm” announced salary reductions 4 days before payday(better than last year, when they announced the day after direct deposit dropped).
–After I made the mortgage payment, there was $90 left.
–We get to choose between the last minute grocery trip and gasoline for the car for the next two weeks.
–Yeah, we’d dip into the savings…but we used them up last year when the salary was reduced…
–My teen is having serious attitude problems that s/he rationalizes by saying…”I’ve done worse.” You know, at this point, I am just too tired to care what the worse is. I am in danger of saying, “I don’t care, just do right.” (I don’t say,”Make good decisions.” That implies that there is a decision to be made whether to do the right thing. There
–The boss likes to fire people at the holidays. “Cut loose the deadwood,” as he likes to say. If we just put it on the credit card, will we be like the single mom he let go the week after Christmas two years ago– thinking she was golden and finding out she was brown?
–We always have Thanksgiving with another couple and their kids. We talked to the husband last month and he was all,”Yeah, can’t wait.” I didn’t hear from her on plans(their house this year). I finally called her on Wednesday. She was still deciding would call on Thursday or Friday. She hasn’t called. There are a lot of other reasons I think this tradition is over. I just don’t want to enumerate them. I turned down a great invitation because I thought we were on.
Now, it is Saturday before my favorite holiday and I have no plans.
No idea what to buy broccoli and Cheez Wiz with.
No energy to whip myself into some poetic, ‘focus-on-all-the-blessings-I-do-have’ thing…
I am taking today to figure this out. I will finish the last couple of recipes tomorrow. Thanks for reading, Honey, because I am guessing you’ll be the only one who sees this.